


Tales from the Pudding Barn

by Wynele



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, One Shot Collection, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-06-16 23:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15448290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wynele/pseuds/Wynele
Summary: A collection of vaguely connected smutty one-shots.





	1. One month, Three weeks, Five days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darkstarius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkstarius/gifts).



> Updates for this collection will be updated based on whimsy and boredom, so in other words, super random. On the upside, each "chapter" is a standalone story so I shouldn't leave you guys hanging too much. 
> 
> These are mostly plotless and porny.

It had been one month, three weeks, five days, twelve hours, twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds since she and Lucifer had last had sex. Not that she was counting or that she particularly missed him stealing her pillow in the middle of the night. It was for the best, really. Even if he was both her favorite blanket and her favorite mattress, and sleep had harder to come by without him.

Chloe stared at herself in the mirror and adjusted her bra for the hundredth time. She had agreed to accompany Lucifer to a black-tie charity event as part of her self-imposed torment. More accurately, it was part of her, perhaps, vain attempt to make their relationship about more than just sex. The sex was amazing, mind-blowing even, but she wanted, no needed more. Sex, er, in her relationship than sex.

Slowly, she pulled her underwear up over her hips. Her hands smoothed down her body, straightening and smoothing the lace. Tracing her navel with her fingertip, she brushed over the elastic waistband of her panties and flicked her tongue over her lips.

He had kissed her after he dropped her home last night, once again missing her none too subtle clues for him to stay. Her breath caught as her mind began to replay their last time together in an endless loop. She remembered his chest, hot and hard, against her spine as he took her from behind. His warm, soft lips pressing feathery kisses against her throat and shoulder.

He came first because she wanted him to; wanted to see, feel, and hear every moment of his climax. Then it was fingers, tongues, and lips until he was ready once more, and he tenderly slipped between her thighs.

Chloe spread her legs slightly and carefully pushed her panties to the side. She touched herself lightly, fingertips brushing over her hypersensitive skin. Her thighs squeezed together on reflex, trapping her hand. She was already wet, her breath coming in short, heated pants, as the memory of his hips between her thighs became branded in her mind.

Fingers nestled in her folds, Chloe pressed slowly and felt a shudder of pleasure echo through her. In the back of her throat, she made a tiny, choked sound. Her body was awake and aware in ways he hadn’t been with any of her previous partners. Although to be fair, all her previous partners had been human or at least a given value of human.

Her body responded, aching and wanting, her nipples hardening into tiny peaks. Her fingers delved deeper as her thumb rolled over her clit. Stroking and pressing, she bit her lip, smothering her cries, as she drew closer and closer. She jerked suddenly, stumbling forward, and caught herself before she fell.

Heart racing with panic instead of lust, she withdrew with a sigh and then cursed when she noticed the time. Lucifer would be here any moment. She quickly yanked off her thong, finding it utterly soaked through, and quickly changed into another.

Lacking the lace Lucifer preferred, but still the same deep, jewel-tone purple, it was one pair of about a dozen in her underwear drawer. What Lucifer considered sexy underwear was surprisingly tame. Purple lace was his favorite with satin being a close second. He didn’t like anything crotchless or barely there and insisted that removing her undergarments was part of the fun. Memories of their first time together wove through her mind, of him tasting her through the cotton wall of her panties.

Chloe willed her mind blank as she shimmied into her evening gown. She ran her palms down her hips and sides, smoothing any lines or wrinkles. It was a deep, dark crimson with a beaded lace overlay. She glanced at her phone, wondering if there was any chance she could talk him into staying in for the night. It was definitely possible. Trixie was at Dan’s weekend, so they would have the entire apartment to themselves. She licked her lips, tasting her lipstick on her tongue, and then breathed a frustrated sigh. Asking him to skip an event he was genuinely looking forward to attending wasn't exactly fair.

More importantly, it would undermine the last two months of their relationship. Lack of sex aside, it had been wonderful. Lucifer was a sweet and attentive boyfriend while keeping his usual air of “Luciferness.” There were still times where she was torn between hugging and strangling him. As well as the times she wished that instead of giving her a chaste kiss goodnight, he’d bend her over a barstool. It was a weird balance, then again, she was dating the devil. 

Smiling slightly, she touched up her makeup before reaching for the flatiron. The day before yesterday, she had come home to find Lucifer and Trixie lounging together on the sofa. There, clad in matching snuggies, they munched on mac and cheese and spoke in hushed tones. Her mom and devil sense told her they were conspiring, probably against her. The last time it happened, her crotchet swim coverup had mysteriously disappeared.  Shortly afterward, Trixie mysteriously managed to wrangle story time from Lucifer. She didn’t have to be a detective to know the two events were related.

In truth, she was still a bit peeved about the coverup. True, she had bought it to wear to the beach with Pierce. Which, given all that happened, might have been enough to burn the thing. Doubly so given that she bought it with him in mind. Still, it had been hers, and Lucifer was out of line to involve her daughter in his petty backsliding. No amount of endearing childhood stories would change that. Although, she had to admit that learning that not only was the Angel Michael Lucifer’s near identical twin but was also tone deaf had made her decidedly less furious. Even so, it was probably something the two of them should talk about sooner rather than later.

Setting the flatiron down, she studied her reflection in the mirror before giving her lipstick one final touchup. She reached into her jewelry box and pulled out the ruby earrings she had borrowed from her mother. Unsurprisingly, Penelope Decker had always rooted for Lucifer. Even, or perhaps especially, when Chloe had been engaged to another man. Her mother refused to elaborate why, exactly, but it had been the family dinner that sold her. Everything that happened afterward, merely further endeared Lucifer to her. 

What was surprising, however, was how readily Penelope accepted the truth. She took it all in stride as if the bombshell revelation had been that Lucifer didn’t like broccoli, rather than he was the devil incarnate. Then she fluttered off to Vancouver to film her latest project with only a vague promise that they would talk later.  

“Yep,” Chloe snarked to her reflection. “Everyone knew before me.”

Careful to not muss her hair, she slipped the bullet necklace around her neck. She shifted and adjusted until the pendant rested in the center of the dress’ plunging neckline. It was a strange choice of jewelry, far too casual for the gown and the event, but at the same time, it was perfect. Lifting her skirt so it wouldn’t drag along the floor, she stepped away from the mirror and into her heels. They were taller than what she usually wore, but she needed the extra height for the length of the dress.

She exhaled softly, feeling strangely nervous, and smoothed down an errant wrinkle. Not nervous she realized but excited and a tad anxious. She willed her mind blank and walked to the vanity to retrieve her clutch. Her reflection gazed back at her, flushed, but radiant, and then jumped at the sudden rap at the bedroom door.

“Detective?”

 _Speak of the Devil_ , she thought fondly and smiled at Lucifer’s reflection in the mirror. She half-turned to look at him over her shoulder. Her breath caught at the sight of him. Lucifer always dressed impeccably, but the sight of him in a tuxedo, hair slightly loose and curling, made things tighten and flipflop in her lower belly.  “Hey,” she breathed, voice low and ragged around the edges. “I’m almost ready.”

Lucifer bobbed his head in a nod, swallowing hard as he stepped behind her. He kissed her lightly, sucking gently at her bottom lip, and then snaked his arms around her waist. “You look…you’re beautiful.”

Leaning back into his arms, she tipped her head back and kissed him again. “Thanks,” she murmured, nuzzling at him with her nose. “You’re not bad yourself.”

Lucifer made a little humming sound, his eyelids heavy, and slid his palm down the curve of her hip to the thigh-high slit in her gown. His fingers played with the edges of the fabric for a moment, before slipping beneath to trace winding circles along the tender flesh of her thigh.

His breath was warm on her skin as he kissed her throat, his tongue swirling over her pulse point. He slipped his hand deeper, fingertips just brushing the edge of her thong, as his free hand slid up to rest against the bare flesh against her pendant. “We should go,” he murmured, reluctance in his tone, and pulled away. “It’s a long drive.”

Then, he was gone, slipping from her bedroom as quickly as he arrived. Chloe grabbed her clutch and glanced at her phone before following him downstairs, sighing the sigh of martyrs.

It had now been one month, three weeks, five days, thirteen hours, twenty-seven minutes and fifteen seconds since she and Lucifer had last had sex.

Lucifer waited for her at the front door, chipper and bouncing on the balls of his feet. He smiled and draped her wrap over her shoulders before opening the door for her.

“We’ll be out quite late,” Lucifer said, almost shyly as she turned to lock the door. “So, I took the liberty of booking us a suite.”

Chloe turned to stare at him, her face unreadable.

“Uh, that is,” he stammered, his customary swagger fading. “If you’re too tired to make the drive back.”

A slow, lazy smile curled at Chloe’s lips. She closed the distance between them and smoothed her palm up the front of his tuxedo. Her hand slipped behind his neck, pulling him down slightly, the heels making up the rest of the distance.

She kissed him softly, her free hand slipping into his suit jacket, and rocked her hips delicately against his. “I’ll be too tired.”

“Oh, indeed,” he purred, smiling brightly as he offered her his arm.

Arm in arm, they walked down the sidewalk to the parking lot where a stretch limo awaited them. The driver jumped to attention at their approach and opened the door with a flourish.

“Lucifer, no,” Chloe groaned, shaking her head as he offered his hand. Her heart sank. He was trying too hard again. “We can take my car.”

“Ah, afraid not, my dear,” Lucifer said with an apologetic shake of his head and helped her into the car. “The limousine was part of a deal.”

Chloe blinked at him, eyes wide, wondering just what Lucifer had gotten them both into. “What deal?”

He closed the door in her face and then jogged behind the car to enter from the other side. Meeting the driver’s eyes in the rearview mirror, he nodded.

“With your offspring,” Lucifer explained, gesturing to the champagne bucket across nestled on the seat across from them. He smirked at her as he leaned forward to raise the tinted privacy screen. “I’ll be needing her when we return to fulfill her end of the bargain.”

Chloe shook her head, her lips pressed together in a firm line. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”

Lucifer chuckled as he reached for the bottle of champagne nestled on the seat across from them. “Nothing of the sort, Detective.” 

He poured the champagne, adding strawberries before handing her a flute, and then settled back against the seat. “I can’t give you the details, Chloe. Devil-Urchin confidentiality.” 

“Of course,” Chloe deadpanned, taking a sip, and then fished the strawberry from the bottom. “At least she’s too young to work the bar.”

“Yes.” Lucifer nodded, tapping the flute against his chin. “Pesky child labor laws.”

Chloe nibbled at her strawberry, shaking her head, and scooted closer to him. “She has you wrapped around her finger.”

Lucifer scoffed at that and took another sip of his champagne. “Nonsense,” he said with the shrug. “Her favor merely coincided with my own desires.”

“Oh?” Chloe murmured, her voice going low, and downed the rest of her champagne. “And what is your desire?”

It was cheesy, and she knew it, but instead of answering he kissed her. His lips moved against hers, slow and delicately, his tongue slipping between her barely parted lips. He traced the deep V of her neckline, and the carefully pushed it aside to reveal a swell of a breast. Chloe gasped and looked around when the limo slowed and eventually stopped. The windows were darkly tinted, sealing them within their own world. Righting her gown, she shoved away from Lucifer and tried to lower the privacy screen.

“Traffic light,” Lucifer murmured, catching her hand, and then pressed a kiss to her palm. He pulled off his suit jacket and tossed it next to the champagne bucket. His hands slid down her body, touching and caressing, and then tipped her back onto the seat.

He slid his hand down her legs to her ankles and pulled off her heels, tossing them behind him. In a swift motion, he pulled her leg through the slit in her gown and tugged her thigh over his shoulder.

Her long skirt fell across her body, covering her face, the velvet tickling her nose. She squirmed against the seat, desire pooling between her legs as he teasingly touched her through her panties.

He paused, eyes flicking up, searching when the limo bounced and shook. It evened out after a moment, driving smoothly down the road.

“Potholes,” Chloe gasped, pulling the gown from her face. “We’re probably on—”

She cried out, starbursts forming in her vision, as his tongue delved into her heated center. Her back arched, finger scratching at him, tugging at his trouser-clad legs.

Settling with his back against the door, Lucifer swirled his tongue over her. Ever so often, he would plunge into her, pulling her wetness over the blade of his tongue. He kissed and licked at her inner thigh, grazing the tender flesh with his teeth.

She tasted amazing. She was amazing, even with her silly no sex rules. Realization struck him, clearing his head, and he pressed a kiss to the pink bud of her center before pulling away.

He crawled over her, kissing a path to her lips, and then pitched forward, catching himself with one hand before he completely on top of her. “I rumpled your dress,” he said mournfully, scooting so that he lay on his side next to her.

Confused, Chloe blinked at him, her eyes hooded and hazy with desire. Then, stifling a groan of frustration, she grabbed him by the front of the shirt and kissed hard on the mouth.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Chloe muttered, tugging at his belt. “Off.”

Clearly taken aback, Lucifer blinked at her, and then slowly smiled, realization dawning over his face. Unbuckling his belt, Lucifer rolled so that he hovered above her, bracing himself with a hand on either side of her head.

Bowing his head, he shivered in anticipation as she reached beneath him to unzip his fly and pulled his trousers below his hips. He shoved the gown away, baring as much of her as possible, and sat back on his heels.

His hand touched her cheek, urging her to look at him. He traced the seam of her lips, trailing a fingertip down her chin to the center of her chest. Then, locking eyes with her, he pressed a hand to her belly.

He entered her slowly, angling his hips so that she could see their bodies meld together. Slowly, he began to rock against her, thrusting in long, teasing strokes, his shaft glistening with her wetness.

Chloe cried out suddenly, arching her hips. What he was doing felt amazing, but she wanted more. She grabbed a fistful of his white shirt, popping a button, and tugged him toward her. He complied instantly, stretching across her body so that their foreheads touched.

Her arms encircled his neck and she pulled him closer, cupping the back of his head with one hand. He rocked his hips against her, quicker than before, but still slow and deep. His lips brushed against her earlobe, whispering words she barely understood. He licked at a bead of sweat streaking down her temple before burying his face into the hollow of her throat. Chloe wrapped her legs around him, arching her hips to meet him. Sucking in a breath, she slowly squeezed around him and ran her palm up his spine. The muscles of his back bunched and curled, a long feather escaping from the fleshy pockets that secured his wings when not in use. They were reaching for her, stretching, trying like limbs to wind themselves around her.

He was always so embarrassed when they popped out during sex. Premature unfurling, he had called it as he fought the urge to crawl into a hole. But she found it endearing and more than a little flattering. It was also thrilling and terrifying to know how much power, how much sway, she held over the ancient being in her arms. She stroked the length of the feather, gently guiding it back while others brushed against her knuckles. They stretched and reached before slipping between her splayed fingers. Then, they relaxed, going nearly limp, content, it seemed, to simply be held. Smiling fondly, she kissed the top of Lucifer’s head. The wings were much like their owner.

Lucifer tipped his head up, eyes meeting hers, and kissed her. His lips moved with feathery touches down the length of her jaw to shell of her ear, tongue flicking over the earring on her lobe. Chloe tipped her head back, arching her spine, and stared up at the sunroof. It was tinted like the rest of glass in the limousine, allowing just the barest crack of light within. She slipped her hands beneath his shirt, feeling the hard, hot muscles of his abdomen. They were still wearing far too many clothes.

Lucifer seemed the feel the same way if his desperate tugging at the front of her gown was any indication.  Determined, he burrowed into the deep V of her neckline, suckling at her flesh. His body began to lose its rhythm, his thrust growing harder and more demanding. He was close, so close, his breathing coming it broken, choked pants.

She loved it when he was like this; when he came first, spilling white-hot within her when she could watch and feel every moment of his graceless tumble over the edge. Most importantly, she loved knowing that it happened because of her. Chloe clenched around him, sending bolts of pleasures through her limbs. She gasped, trembling, and rolled her hips to meet his. Lucifer wasn’t the only one flirting with the edge. She clung to him, back curving like a bow, as their eyes met. His mouth found hers in a sloppy, open mouth, approximation of a kiss. Her world narrowed, spiraling, until all she could see, taste, and feel was him.

Lucifer kissed her neck, raking her skin with his teeth, as tension pooled in her belly. Then, he reached between them to touch her with a light, feathery caress. Chloe squeezed her eyes shut and cried out as the first of the tremors shook her. Her legs tightened around him, drawing him closer, melding their bodies as if she were trying to crawl through him.

Lucifer throbbed and pulsed at the feel of her climaxing around him. He plunged deeper, hips jerking helplessly, as a relentless, almost painful pleasure curled around him.

Chloe contracted around him, her orgasm tumbling into a second. Still griping feathers in one hand, she clutched at his shoulders, rocking against him in desperate abandon.

Lucifer made a low sound, more whimper than moan, and felt himself swell, spilling inside her. Gasping and trembling, he pressed tiny kisses to her cheeks and eyebrows before collapsing bonelessly on top of her.

They lay there together for several moments as their breathing slowed and returned to normal. Chloe stroked the length of his spine, feeling his wings quiver beneath his flesh. She nuzzled at him, smiling when he laid his cheek against her shoulder and looked up at her.

“Hi,” she whispered, brushing her lips against his nose.

Eyes soft and unfocused, he reached up and brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. “I didn’t mean for—” Pulling at the front of her gown, he covered her bare breast before gesturing down the length of their bodies. “-this.”

Chloe made an amused, content sound, her eyes heavy with desire, and rubbed the back of her head against the seat. A smile curved at her lips as pulled at the front of her gown, allowing her breasts to spring free.

“I’m kind of okay with it,” she murmured, wrinkling her nose as she bobbed her head. Then, she looked at herself and him, feeling a surge of pride at their rumpled and sweaty clothes. “Your fancy charity friends might not approve.”

He eased off her, balancing with his elbow so that he could roll onto the narrow seat, and lay on his side. “I’ll write them a cheque,” he murmured, pulling her flush with his chest. “That's usually for the best, anyway.”

Yawning, Chloe nuzzled against and pressed her cheek against his heart. It beat slowly in a strong, slow rhythm. It was a heart that was meant to beat for eternity. “About this deal with Trixie.”

Lucifer tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer. “It’s nothing unseemly, Detective,” he breathed, voice dropping to a husky note. “Chloe.”

“I’m her mother, Lucifer,” she insisted, craning her neck to stare at him. She trusted him, she truly did, but what Lucifer considered appropriate for children wasn't always appropriate or for children.

Lucifer sighed, shaking his head, but then, after a moment related. “The offspring and I have entered into a contract for a series of mutually beneficial favors.” He paused, slightly hurt by the alarm in her eyes, and then quickly clarified. “With the stipulation that none of these favors would entail anything of which you would not approve.”

Chloe nodded, breathing a sigh of relief, and nuzzled back into his chest. She wanted a nap before the next round, which hopefully would be in a bed. "What did she want for this?” she asked, yawning as she gestured with one floppy hand.

“The sex wasn’t part of the favor,” he reassured, dropping a quick kiss on her temple. “The urchin thought driving up in a limo would be romantic.”

Chloe smiled against his skin, feeling the air quotes in his tone. “Softy.”

“I believe I dispelled notions of—”

She pressed her fingers against his mouth, silencing him, and gave him a stern look. “What does Trix have to do in return?”

Lucifer made a humming sound, his nearly full erection pressing at the cleft in her legs. “I'm in need of her tiny, urchin fingers and since they’re attached to her tiny, urchin body, she’ll just have to come along.”

Chloe gasped when he entered her again, slow and honeyed, and clutched at his back. “I trust you, Lucifer,” she whispered as he rocked his hips against hers. “It’s just that I’m a cop.”

He withdrew and then plunged into her again, one hand planted firmly on the small of her back.

“I lost a cufflink in the floor drain at Lux,” he rasped, pressing her forehead to hers as he moved. “My fingers won’t fit through the grate.”

Smiling, Chloe laughed and gave him a quick kiss before tapping his nose with her pinky finger. “Just a head’s up,” she began, her breath hitching when he cupped her breast. “My lease doesn’t allow pets.”

He grabbed her leg and flung it over his thigh so that he could settle into hollow of her body.

“I am aware,” he whispered, moving slowly, his hands tapping along her mostly clothed ribs. “I am to negotiate the matter with your landlord or acquire a fierce, but noble goldfish. She is still undecided.”

“Goldfish,” Chloe murmured as she began to move with him. She slipped a hand between their bodies, touching herself and him, starbursts dancing in her vision. “I want…”

Moaning softly, Lucifer nodded and pressed an open mouth kiss to her forehead. He was always pleased to give the detective what she wanted. At the moment, she wanted to watch him come.

A hand splayed against her back, he quickened his pace, hips moving against hers with an increasing rhythm. Scooting on the narrow seat, he eased her onto her back, then sat up and kneeled between her thighs. He yanked off his shirt, popping most of the buttons, crawled up the length of her body.

Wrapping his hand around his shaft, he stroked himself, shivering as he rolled his thumb over the head. Slowly, he circled her center, rubbing himself against her, and then guided himself within.

His movements firm, but slow, drawing out her pleasure while racing towards his own. She squeezed and clenched around him, her heels drumming against his spine. He withdrew, then sank back inside of her, deep enough that she gasped.

His movements quickened, harder and faster, lifting her from the seat. She bucked and thrashed beneath him, moaning and crying out. He slowed slightly, trying to reign her back, but then she flung her head back and shrieked, her entire body clenching around him.

Lucifer stilled his entire body, trying to hold back his own climax, but the feel of her was too much and he tumbled, trembling, after her.

“Okay, I’m so not mad,” Chloe gasped moments later when she could finally form words and shoved the hair from her eyes. She kissed the top of his head and shifted so that he could lay beside her on the seat. “We’ll try again at the hotel.”

Lucifer nodded, his face buried in the crook of her neck. “And at The Pudding Barn.”

“The Pudding Barn?”

Lucifer made a little affirmative sound and looked up just enough so that she could see his eyes. “Your offspring wants a double fudge butterscotch parfait with chocolate shavings instead of sprinkles.”

“Right,” Chloe hummed, scratching the back of his head. “Finger, wrapped, you.”

A look came over Lucifer’s face and bounced up, nearly hitting the low ceiling of the limo, and grinned down at her. “I’ll show you wrapped.”

“You couldn’t possibly be ready to go again,” Chloe said, shaking her head, knowing that quite the opposite was true. Then, she squeaked, shrieking out a giggle as he pounced her.

He tickled her until she was breathless, grinning as she halfheartedly slapped at him. Then, her fingers began wiggling at her sides and he knew there was no escape.

She reached around to where his wings lay dormant, burrowed within their fleshy pockets, and slowly ran a finger down the seam. He shivered, wiggling, and tried not to react.

“Careful,” he warned, squirming as she continued to swirl her fingers. “There isn’t room for them in here.”

“True,” she admitted with a mock pout and pulled away, but not before pinching his bottom. Then she grinned, a wicked look in her eyes. “So, that leaves your toes.”

Eyes widening, Lucifer made a rather undignified sound and scurried to the far end of the seat. Grinning she crawled after him, trying to wrestle his legs as he unzipped her gown and tossed to the seat with his long-forgotten jacket.

Then, she was straddling him, her knees on either side of his hips. He kissed her, long and lingering, his fingertips exploring the underside of her breast.

She shifted in his lap, knowing that the next time they had sex they would be making love. It was corny and cheesy and a whole bunch of other things that would normally make her roll her eyes.

Their relationship had never been just about sex. She had said so herself, long before they had become lovers. Smiling to herself, she kissed a freckle she just noticed on the end of Lucifer’s nose.  

It had been four minutes and thirteen seconds since she and Lucifer had last had sex.


	2. The Pudding Barn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and Chloe take a much needed vacation.

He had never truly meant to retire.

Past jaunts to the mortal plane had been holidays, short reprieves from his responsibilities as Lord of Hell. There were perks to his position, as well as obvious downsides. For a long while, one outweighed the other.

When the pendulum swung the other way, and the downsides outweighed the perks, he would venture to Earth. There he would amuse himself until Amenadiel would arrive to see him back to hell. Despite his protests to the contrary, Lucifer had always remained the obedient son.

He would always return to hell as Amenadiel claimed their father demanded. Did their father demand it? In the light of everything that had happened over the last few years, Lucifer was no longer quite sure. The detective’s existence seemed to suggest that perhaps his father had always intended for him to remain on the mortal plane.

It was a fact he tried not to dwell upon, at least not often. What was important was that he had initially come to Los Angeles all those years go with the intention to leave once he was bored. But Los Angeles was different. It was almost alive. The City of Angels felt like home in a way neither Hell nor the Silver City had.

Part of him knew it was due to one person, a woman placed in his path by his father. More importantly, the more honest parts of him had begun to realize that his father’s plan would have ultimately failed had he not chosen to remain.

The honest parts of him were annoying, he decided, and, at the moment, not particularly relevant. What was important was that his so-called retirement was merely trading one job for another in a better locale. Not that he particularly mattered. Lux and his work with the LAPD were each rewarding in their own way.

Even so, he found himself in serious need of a vacation from his vacation. The detective had agreed, a bit too eagerly, now that he considered, for someone practically wed to her job. _Speaking of…_

Lucifer glanced over his sunglasses at the reflection of the setting sun on the rippling surface of the swimming pool and frowned. Chloe’s should’ve returned long before now. Determined not to panic, he pushed himself up in the pool chair and flung his legs to one side so that he was sitting upright.

Just as he moved to reach for his phone, the normally unflappable hotel manager burst out onto the veranda. He looked around frantically, searching as he alternated between wringing his hands and brushing the front of his suit jacket.

Heart racing even as he mentally cursed, Lucifer leaped from his lounger and strode toward the manager. “Is there a problem?”

“Ah, Mr. Morningstar!” the manager said with a sigh of obvious relief, but then wrinkled his nose just slightly. “A thousand pardons, sir, but—”

Suddenly, a whooping, excited cry came from somewhere from within the hotel, loud enough that it echoed out onto the veranda.

“I asked the devil to marry me, and he said, YES!”

Lucifer beamed at the hotel manager who looked all shades of scandalized. “It’s true.”

“Ah, very good, sir,” the manager said with a tight smile, sniffing lightly. “Uh, congratulations.”

“You guys, you guys!” Chloe yelled again, breathless and excited. In his mind’s eye, Lucifer could see her bouncing on the balls of her feet, wide-eyed and clasping at her hands. “I’m gonna be the Queen of Hell!”

“I've retired actually,” Lucifer said with an offhanded smile, which vanished at the sight of the manager’s deadpan expression. “Ah, if you would be so good point me in the direction of my lovely bride to be?”

The manager smiled, breathing another sigh of relief before gesturing with a bow toward the dining room.

“Lovely,” Lucifer said with a sigh, mildly baffled by the look of pure sympathy on the manager’s face.

Without another word, Lucifer darted back inside the hotel proper where he broke into near jog. He made his way down the hallway and flung open the double doors leading to the dining room.

There perched atop a table, wobbling back and forth as she took generous swigs from a bottle of champagne was the love his life.

“I’ve had sex with the devil,” Chloe mumbled, gesturing to the crowd gathered around her, “and it was awesome!”

She blinked hard, swallowing twice, and then grappled at the shoulder of a hostess. The young woman looked utterly helpless, torn between fleeing and her duty to keep Chloe from falling on her face. “Did you know,” she began in a low, conspiratorial whisper, “that the freckles on his butt make the little dipper?”

Chloe shook her head wildly, her blonde hair flying about her shoulders, and then giggled when she nearly fell from the table. “Nothin’ little about his dipper.”

“Ah, Detective!” Lucifer said brightly as he waded through the crowd to stand in front of the table. They looked from him to Chloe, gawking with a mixture of amusement and feigned shock. “There you are!”

Chloe took another swig from the bottle, burping loudly, and gave him a sloppy grin as she sank down on her knees.

“That’s your majesty to you,” she slurred, glaring at him with bleary eyes as she waggled a finger. “I am the Queen of Hell.”

Pressing his lips together, Lucifer shook his head, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. “Is that so?”

“Yep!” she declared with a pop and took another long, lingering swig from the bottle. “I’d have you flogged, but you’d probably like it.”

Nodding in mock seriousness, Lucifer gave her guileless, wide-eyed look and pursed his lips.

“Well, technically, you would be called, your grace,” he nearly purred and looped an arm around her waist, “and, yes, under certain circumstances most definitely.”

Chloe squished her face together, nose wrinkling so that her nostrils flared. She groped at him, hand flailing before finally covering his entire mouth.

“Shh,” she muttered and pressed the fingers of her free hand to her lips. “Just be pretty.”

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Lucifer carefully unpeeled her fingers from his face and lightly squeezed her hand before lowering it to her side. A sigh escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned heavily into him.

She nuzzled at him, burying her face into his waistcoat, and pressed an open mouth kiss above his heart. Slowly, her body went limp and she snuffled, rubbing her face against his chest. Lucifer held his breath, mentally counting, and waited for her to pass out.

Behind him, the other hotel guests began to whisper amongst themselves. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but it seemed that this was the most scandalous thing to happen all year.

“Come along, Detective,” he murmured, which curiously earned him a chitter of sympathy from the crowd. He frowned over his shoulder at the dining hostess. Curious, they thought him the wronged party.

Just as he was about to scoop her up, Chloe’s eyes flew open and she flailed out of his arms, all knees and elbows.

“You weren’t supposed to say, yes,” she muttered crossly, retreating to the far end of the table. Her lips trembled at the hurt expression on Lucifer’s face and she shook her head. She pulled herself onto her knees and spread her ankles, forming a “v” with her legs.

“You were supposed to get all flustered and Lucifery and we’d make out behind The Pudding Barn!”

The hurt vanished from Lucifer face only to be replaced with utter bewilderment. Silence fell over the crowd and he could almost feel them leaning forward, trying not to miss a single word.

“You don’t have to wed me, Detective, Chloe,” he said with a sigh, trying his best to keep his tone even. “I would never—”

“But I want to!” Chloe wailed, walking on her knees across the table to him. She stretched out her arms, her hands grabbing and reaching. “And now we’ll never make out behind The Pudding Barn!”

Lucifer did a double take, opening and closing his mouth, and peered sideways at her, his brows lifting to his hairline. “Of course, we will don’t be ridiculous.”

A sloppy grin broke out across Chloe’s face, nearly splitting her face in two. Tears glittered on her lashes as she blinked up at him with bleary eyes. “Really?”

“My word is my bond,” he said simply, ignoring the delighted coos of the gathered crowd. He lifted her from the table and set her carefully on the floor. Her legs wobbled, but she managed to stand on her own.

Chloe snorted and scrubbed at her face with the heels of her eyes. She froze, peering through her splayed fingers at the gathered crowd. Her head cleared suddenly, realization seeping through the alcoholic haze in her mind. “They think I’m a hussy.”

Lucifer smiled tightly and wound an arm behind her back. He gently clasped her hand around the wrist and slowly walked her to the elevator. “I’m not certain what your sexual proclivities have to do—”

Chloe clamped her palm over his mouth, glaring at him with bleary eyes.  “Pretty,” she reminded her tone chiding, shaking her head. “It’s not fair.”

She lowered her hand slowly, fingertips trailing down his neck to his chest, lingering just below his ribs.

“You’d probably just flash your abs, and all would be forgiven.”

Lucifer made a humming sound, almost like a purr, and nudged her into the elevator when the doors opened. “I’ll remember that next time we have an argument.”

Chloe giggled suddenly, snickering under her breath, and gestured for him to tip his head down so she could whisper in his ear. “I sometimes pick fights just to watch you walk off in a huff.”

Lucifer drew back, gaping at her. Slowly, a grin broke out across his features. He pulled her into his chest so that he could press the button for their floor. “Well played, Detective!”

He wrapped his arms around her, propping his chin on the top of her head. As the doors closed and the elevator lurched, she twisted in his arms so that her back was pressed against his chest.

They rode in relative silence, the low hum of the elevator the only sound. Slowly, he began to finger comb her hair and then dropped a chaste kiss to her temple.

Chloe tipped her head back and kissed the underside of his chin. Smiling up at him, she took both his hands in hers. She squeezed, hard enough that she could feel his ring digging into her palm, and then laced her fingers with his.

Slowly, she began to grind her bottom into him, feeling him grown warm and thick.

“The word you’re looking for,” he murmured, breath hitching in his throat. His words came into little puffs of air as he kissed down the curve of her cheek. “Is lush. They think you’re a lush.”

His hands slipped from hers to fall to her waist, fingertips digging into her hips. He reached her fly of her jeans, fingers tracing down the zipper. Chloe whimpered in anticipation. He was so hard and ready, his skin blazing like a furnace beneath his clothes.

She twisted in his arms so that she was facing him, and then guided his hand back to her fly. He pressed his forehead to hers, his erection nudging at her belly, and kissed her softly. “You’re drunk.”

Chloe pressed her lips together and shook her head, her blonde hair whipping around her shoulders. “Mn. No.”

“Oh, I think definitely,” he said, mildly amused, and wound his around her to cup her buttocks. He lifted her effortlessly, pulling her flush against him. A clipped moan rumbled in his throat when she hooked her knees around the small of his back.

She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him, softly, at first, but then growing harder and more desperate. He caught her bottom lip with his teeth, sucking softly, and then peppered her face with tiny kisses.

“Lucifer,” she gasped and move against him, kissing him between her ragged pants. She squeezed her legs around him, locking her ankles tighter. The rough fabric of her jeans grinding into her, teasing the growing pressure between her thighs with sweet friction. “Don’t stop.”

He drew back a little, shaking his head. His eyelids were low and heavy, his eyes almost black beneath his feathery lashes. Sliding his hands up her back, he shifted her weight and lifted her so that she leaned heavily over one shoulder.

Chloe began to squirm in protest but froze when the elevator lurched to a stop. When the doors finally opened, Lucifer strode through them, carrying her like a child to the door of their suite.

She straightened as he fumbled with the door, taking the opportunity to kiss him and yank at his clothes. He shifted her weight again, this time to free his hand, and closed the door behind them. He was breathing hard and panting while swallowing hard to calm himself.

Lucifer carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. The mattress shifted with his weight as he climbed in beside her, but before she could reach for him, he pulled the blankets up to her chin. “Get some sleep.”

Chloe frowned and made a sound of protest, batting at the blankets. She squeezed her thighs together, only just barely resisting the urge to press her own hands into herself.

“I’m not that drunk,” she insisted, rolling over onto her side to curl into his chest. The room spun just a little, a flush of alcohol rushing to her brain. “Okay, maybe I am.”

Lucifer traced his thumb along the curve of her eyebrows around to her cheekbone down the length of her nose before pressing it against her lips. “Indeed, you are, your grace.”

Chloe groaned, squishing her features together, and burrowed deeper into his chest. “I’m never going to live that down.”

“Nope,” Lucifer said with a pop and kissed the top of her head. “When you wake up, we’ll—”

He gasped, closing his eyes, as she cupped him through the blanket. She squeezed him slightly, gently, and ran her thumb down the length of his shaft. He bucked softly against her palm, a tremor running through his body, drew back just enough so that he could kiss her.

“We’ll do this,” she breathed, stroking him through the blanket and his trousers. “This and get a burger from The Pudding Barn.”

He chuckled into her hair, licking his lips as he ground himself, achingly against her palm. There were times he wondered if Chloe knew the effect she had on him. “I’m not quite sure what to make of your obsession with The Pudding Barn.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Chloe made a whiny sound of protest and rubbed the back of her head against her pillow. “It’s your fault.”

“Oh?” Lucifer hummed, carefully uncurling her fingers from around his length. He grazed her knuckles with his lips before curling her fingers into a fist and tucking her hand safely beneath the blanket. “I seem to recall it was Daniel who first introduced you to the establishment.”

“He introduced you,” she corrected with a sleepy snuffled and rolled over onto her side. She reached up to stroke his face, pinching the underside of his jaw with her thumb. “I just crashed your bro-date.”

Lucifer sat up on the bed, looking all shades of scandalized. “It was not a bro-date”

Chloe snickered, wrinkling her nose, and then yawned widely. The champagne was finally settling, lulling her into sleep. “You’re cute when you eat curly fries.”

“Cute?” Lucifer repeated, indignant, shaking his head, but she had already dozed off. Leaning forward, he kissed her on the forehead, and then pulled the blanket up near her feet to remove her shoes.

He adjusted her limbs, so her arms wouldn’t fall asleep and then tucked the blanket snugly around her. Satisfied she was comfortable, he stood bed and padded to the foot of the bed.

Lucifer stretched before glancing out the window. The sun had finally set, casting the sky in pinks and violet along the tree line. He shook his head, smiling fondly when Chloe began to snore. The aftermaths of her countless outings with Ms. Lopez had long taught him what to expect.

She would sleep for about an hour, perhaps two if he were lucky, and then she would bolt awake. Enraged over slights, real or imagined, she would leap from the bed and tear off her clothes. The last time it was the wallpaper in the bedroom of his country estate. Apparently, peonies had committed a crime of which he was not aware.

Sighing, he gave her one last look before stepping out of the bedroom and into the adjoining room.

********

 

 

Chloe woke up to the sound of water running and the smell of something delicious that made her stomach rumble. She flopped over on her back and peeked under the blanket before pinching the bridge of her nose. As Lucifer had predicted, she was completely naked.

Squishing her face, she stifled a yawn into the back of her hand, and then pushed herself up on her elbows. She shook her head, wincing at a slight headache throbbing at her temple. Eyes narrowed to a squint, she scanned the room, sighing at the pile of her clothes in a wingchair near the bed.

Lucifer must have picked them up after she tore them off in her drunken haze. Hopefully, this time her rampage went no further than their hotel room. She smiled suddenly, biting her lip, and shook her head softly as a wave of affection washed over her. There on the foot of the bed where two bags of takeout from The Pudding Barn.

Smirking, she hopped out of bed, toes wiggling in the plush carpet, and padded into the bathroom. Steam billowed from the room when she opened the door. As usual, Lucifer was using all the hot water.

Quietly closing the door behind her, peered at her fuzzy reflection in the foggy wall-length mirror. The bathroom was huge, nearly the size of her bedroom. Tucked in the corner was a large garden tub that had thoroughly broken in the first night they had arrived.

She knocked once on the shower door, and the slipped inside. As she predicted, the water was near scalding.

“Ah, Chloe,” he gasped, and tapped the showerhead away from her while he gave the cold water faucet a half turn.

Satisfied with the water temperature, he moved the showerhead so that it rained down upon them like a waterfall. Combing her hair from her face, she walked toward him and then wrapped her arms around his neck.

Chloe kissed him gently, long and lingering, her tongue flicking at his lips. Her hands slid from his neck to his shoulders, fingers trailing down his back to rest on the small of his back.

Grinning, she pinched his bottom, making him jump, and then pressed an apologetic kiss to his chin. “Was it the peonies, again?”

He shook his head, running his hands down her flanks as he walked them to the far corner of the shower.

“You woke up,” he said, punctuating his words with tiny kisses. “grabbed my balls and declared to all creation that they were your babies came from.”

Chloe gaped at him, staring in disbelief.

His hands slipped between them, one snaking up to cup her breast while the other slid down to the space between her legs. Slowly, he slipped his fingers inside, gently pressing and curling. He tipped his head forward and pressed his lips against her throat, tongue swirling over her pulse point.

“Then, you ripped off all your clothes and ran giggling to the bed where you passed out with your pert bottom in the air.”

Chloe groaned and tipped her head so that the water poured down her face. It was warm, but nowhere near the scalding Lucifer preferred. He would be shivering in a few minutes, especially with her near to make him vulnerable.

She was about to suggest they take this to the bedroom when Lucifer rolled his thumb over her clit. Her breath hitched in her throat as his fingers pressed and curled against her, sending white-hot blades of pleasure to her limbs.

She squeaked, gasping into a moan when Lucifer curled his fingers deeper inside her. His hand slipped from her breast, sliding down her side, to rest on the swell of her hip. He bent slightly at the knee so that he could slip his arm beneath her backside. Sealing his mouth over hers, he lifted so that her toes just barely grazed the shower floor.

“I enjoyed the view,” Lucifer purring, a sultry smirk curling at his lips. Eyes boring into her, he slipped his hand from between her thighs. He licked his index finger with a long lap of his tongue.

Suddenly, the shower turned icy as the last of the hot water petered away. Yelping, Lucifer scrambled forward, pressing her flush into the corner of the shower.

“Smooth,” Chloe giggled, shaking her head as he shivered against her. Only Lucifer could go from impossibly hot to complete dork in a split second.

He shot her a sour look, but then kissed her, his eyes smoldering beneath his lowered lids. His erection nudged her belly, so very hard and hot in the cooling water. Lips nibbling at hers, he allowed his hands to wander, lower and lower, feeling her quiver beneath his touch. Apparently, he could also go from complete dork to impossibly hot in the same amount of time.

He traced the edge of her navel with his index finger, and then trailed further down, slipping into her once more. She cried out, throwing her head back, as the first waves of pleasure began to roll over her.

Sucking in a breath, Lucifer stepped backward into the now icy water and turned off the faucet. When he turned back around, Chloe was there, a scant few inches from him, a heated smile curling at her lips.

She slipped one hand behind his neck, playing with the curls at his nape, and then kissed him tenderly. Her free hand wandered down his chest, pausing for a moment to tick along the taut muscles of his abdomen. He did have amazing abs, amazing everything really. 

“Sorry, about earlier,” she began, circling her hand around his length. She stroked him lightly, gently pushing back his foreskin with her thumb.

Slowly, she slid down his body, fingers trailing down the hard muscles of his chest until she was kneeling before him. Beads of water streaked down his body to join the growing pool beneath her knees.

He tried to pull her back to her feet, but she would have none of it, and instead rubbed her cheek against the dark curls at his groin.

“Please,” she whispered, curling her hands around the length of his shaft. 

He nodded jerkily, unable to deny her anything, and threaded his hands into her wet hair. Looking up at him, she slowly lapped up the slick drops of moisture on the tip, spreading them around the damp head before drawing it into her mouth.

Her tongue swirled over him, edging just slightly beneath the foreskin. Lucifer made a sound, somewhere between a growl and a moan, and flung back his head. His hands tightened in her hair, pulling just slightly on the edge of painful. “Chloe.”

Slowly, she rocked forward on her heels, taking him fully into her mouth, and then rocked back, sucking lightly on the head. His hands slipped her hair to fall limply at his sides.

She pulled back, lips still around the tip of his erection, and slid one hand up the flat planes of his stomach. Her tongue flicked out, licking the underside of his shaft as she drew him back into her mouth. She felt him jump against her tongue and moaned softly when his fingers wound their back into her hair.

Her free hand slipped between his thighs to cup the warm, heavy softness there. Giving him one light squeeze, she circled her hand around the base of his shaft and moved in time with his helpless thrusts.

Lucifer whimpered and jerked as he came, hot, salty, but still sweet, and she swallowed, licking the last drops from her lips.

Lips slightly parted, he stared down at her in wonder, softly panting as he helped her to her feet. He kissed her fully on the lips, tasting himself on the corner of her mouth, and grappled out blindly for the shower door.

The door slid open, sending a whoosh of cool air into the humid shower. Lucifer shivered, only partly from the sudden change in temperature, and gathered Chloe in his arms.

Still dripping from the shower, he carried her into the bedroom, as if she were his bride. She kissed him softly, fingers working into his curls, and then sighed happily, nuzzling at his neck. “You got me a burger?”

Lucifer hummed and shifted her weight in his arms. “And that lemon soda float you like.” Then, he grinned and tossed her unceremoniously onto the bed.

“Ass,” Chloe huffed as she landed on her back. She propped herself up on her elbows, watching as he set the bags of takeout on the floor.

“Why thank you,” he chirped, smirking at her, and then crawled up the bed on all fours until he hovered above her.

Trying not to smile, she pressed her lips together and smacked his chest with the flat of her hand. He braced his hands on either side of her head and then tipped his head down to kiss her.

Chloe sucked on his bottom lip and slipped her hands into his hair, gently twining a curl around her finger before tracing the delicate edge of his ear. Lucifer dusted a kiss against her nose and pulled away. Tenderly, he took her hand in his and licked her fingertips, sucking briefly at the ends. Then, he guided her hand where everything was still hot and wet.

His hand moved with hers in slow, leisurely circles, and he swallowed hard, breath hitching in his throat. He ducked his head to nuzzle her throat, tongue flicking over her pulse point.

He gasped, eyes fluttering shut when her hand, slick with her wetness, circled around him and guided him into her. Then, her arms tightened around him and she arched her back, pressing her hips into his.

Chloe clutched him to her, one hand cradling his damp head, while the other traced the long line of his spine. He slowly rocked against her, sliding deeper with each thrust. He adjusted the angle of his hips and her breath hitched, shuddering and needy.

She clenched around him, making him cry out, and crush his mouth over hers. He sank deep inside of her and stilled, then, keeping her sealed against him, rolled so that she straddled him.

He slid his hands up her body, thumbs ghosting over her breasts. Chloe’s eyes drifted shut and she splayed her hands on his chest, rocking her hips with a slow, gliding rhythm. 

Lucifer smoothed his hand to the place where their bodies joined and began to press with slow, deliberate pressure. Chloe fell forward and pressed her mouth over his heart, shaking with ragged pants she as teetered towards the edge.

Suddenly impatient, Lucifer flipped her on her back and rocked hard against her. He gasped her name as she angled her hips towards him, her body arching like a bow. His mouth found her throat, suckling and nipping at the tender flesh.

Her arms tightened around him, drawing him closer as tension pooled low in her belly. She cried out, trembling, her body wracked with desperate shuddering.

Their eyes met, lingering for a moment, and then he kissed her as if were made of glass. Lucifer whimpered something that might have been her name and jerked as a relentless, almost painful pleasure coursed through him.

He collapsed on top of her, their bodies still joined, and burrowed into the crook of her neck. Chloe made a little content sound and shifted until he rolled off her and cuddled at her side.

“Hungry?” he asked, after a long moment when their breaths finally evened out. “I think your burger might be still warm.”

Chloe smirked at him, a sly look in her eyes. “I already ate.”

“Oh, indeed,” Lucifer purred, smiling, and then caught her lips with his. His smile faded by inches as a distant hurt look appeared in his eyes. “Chloe…”

Chloe sat up in bed, her hair tumbling over her shoulders to cover her breasts. “Yeah,” she began, wincing, but managed a brittle smile. “I was joking when I asked you to marry me.”

Lucifer nodded once, his features blank. “So, you've said.”

She reached for him but stopped short of touching him. “But the more I think about it,” she explained, her cheeks pinking slightly. “The more I really like the idea.”

Lucifer tilted his head, obviously confused, and then rolled to a sit, mirroring her. “You do want to marry me?”

Chloe nodded, smiling and took his hand in hers. “I told the hotel bartender and she poured me a glass of complimentary champagne.”  she winced suddenly, eyes widening as she shook her head in disbelief. “and the next thing I knew I was standing on a table declaring my vagina an island.”

Lucifer frowned, looking utterly perplexed, but at the same time intrigued. “That must have happened before I arrived.”

Chloe squished her features together and leaned forward, whimpering into his chest. “Did I say I wanted five kids?”

Lucifer ran a hand over hand over her head, stroking her hair. “Six, if you count your original offspring.”

When she looked up in horror, he smirked and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “Bessie, Fifi, Itsy, Lulu, and Steve.”

Chloe blinked at him. “Steve?” she repeated slowly, shaking her head, and then glared when she saw him smirking at her. “Ass.”

Laughing, Lucifer dodged her slapping hands and rolled to the foot of the bed. He retrieved the takeout bags from the floor and handed them to her before hopping off the bed. Not bothering with his robe, he strode from the bedroom and into the adjoining room.

He returned moments later, carrying two drinks and the tv remote, and climbed back in bed beside her. Pointing the remote at the TV dominating the wall, he flipped through the channels before settling on an old movie.

“So,” Chloe began carefully, pretending to be thoroughly engrossed in sorting their takeout order. She smiled briefly at the double order of curly fries. “Do you want to marry me?”

Lucifer looked at her from the corner of his eye and shrugged. “Why not?”

She rolled her eyes and mouthed a plaintive “why” to the sky. “Why not?”

He shrugged again, making a little sound. “It would be a secular ceremony, of course. No binding our souls together before my father or any of that nonsense.”

Chloe gave him a small, humoring nod, and handed him his fries. As always, he sorted them according to the size of their curls. The tightest, curliest were his favorite and would be savored for last.

“We could, however, simply carry on as we have,” he suggested, licking the grease from his fingers, and then popped another fry into his mouth. “I’ll find you no matter where you go.”

He paused in mid-chew, frowning. “Ah, that sounded far more menacing than I intended.”

Chloe chuckled, shaking her head, and kissed him lightly.

“I know what you meant,” she said simply, and then snatched one of his fries. “And I’ll find you first.”

Lucifer beamed at her, eyes wide and happy. “I do warn you,” he said slowly, his voice filled with mock despair. “There is no Pudding Barn in the afterlife.”

Chloe snorted, waving him off in a very Lucifer like gesture. “Not yet.”

 

********

In the distant afterlife, in a place somewhere between Heaven and Hell, a small building in the vague shape of a country barn, twinkled into existence.


End file.
